About the conditionals

What would you do if you were a wardrobe?

One day, you wake up and you can see you are a wardrobe. What do you think? What would you do?
10:00 am: You can see yourself with your wife, it's another happy day with your happy family. Everything is going as planed.
11:00 am: You're taking a great breakfast, like everyday. After, you take the bus to go to work.
12:00 pm: You are bored and hungry (wardrobes can't eat the human food). You can see your wife into the room, it's cleaning the house. You want to talk her, but remember: you're a wardrobe!
14:00 pm: The family is on the rest-room, sleeping after the lunch. You see a fly and it's your only enterteinment.
17:00 pm: The fly it's dead. You are alone again, but... wait... Somebody it´s at the room. It's your wife with another guy, but... I'm at the office. Who's that guy? Oh my god! My wife has got a secret lover! I can't do anything!
18:00 pm: Oh f**k! One hour with my wife on the bed! Where am I? Oh, right... I'm at the office. If I could punch his face!
18:15 pm: Silence... I'm at the house!
-Me: Honey, I'm there!
Great!! Come on, go to the bedroom! Quickly!
18:16 pm: Where did you go? Oh, wait! My wife's lover it's into me! On the wardrobe! I can't move.
18:17 pm: I'm at the bedroom, I'm going to open the wardrobe and...!


Riiiiing! Riiiing!
-Oh, god...
-What happen, honey?
-Oh, I had a nightmare and I was a wardrobe!
-A wardrobe? How funny!

The end